Here are a few articles and blogs I've written:
5 Ways to Calm Your Nerves for Presentations
By Mark Dannenberg
To combat nerves hijacking your conversations and presentations, remember this: the audience and you have common ground. You want to inform them; they want to learn from you and hear what you have to say.
How can I prevent being overcome by nerves when delivering a presentation?
As a facilitator for The Ariel Group, this is a question I get asked quite regularly in the classroom. Whether delivering a high-stakes presentation or chatting in a one-on-one meeting, many of us battle performance anxiety. We feel the butterflies in our stomach. We start to perspire. Our legs shake. Either we barely get the words out of our mouth or they spew out so rapidly no one can keep up.
But not to worry. Here are a few tricks we actors keep in our back pockets when we feel nerves bubbling up:
- Practice. OUT LOUD. Too often, people only prepare for talks and presentations by writing notes on slides and perhaps practicing quietly in their heads. No matter how large (or small) your audience is, it’s crucial to practice your presentation out loud. And eventually ask some friends to sit in as you rehearse. Getting feedback before your moment can help make it stronger.
- Socialize with the audience before. They’re just people after all. By socializing with your audience beforehand and learning what they’re interested in, you can say something like “I was talking to Marge beforehand and this is an issue for her too.” It makes you more relatable as a speaker and you’ll feel like you have some “friends” in the crowd.
- Have a mantra. Have confidence in yourself and your experience. When all else fails, talk yourself up! Before you begin, say to yourself: “This audience can’t WAIT to hear what I have to say!” or “What I have to say is valuable.” If you think it sounds hokey or contrived, I used to be right there with you, until I tried it. And believe me when I say it’s just hokey enough to work. Give it a shot.
- Visualize yourself making the worst mistake possible. It may sound awful, but think what would happen if “x” happened? Figure out how you’d move on from it. Have a Plan B.
I recently was in a play where the lead actor was sick. During the climactic scene, he literally threw up on stage. The scene stopped. We all exited. The mess was cleaned up swiftly and the show continued. After the show we got a standing ovation and on my way out several audience members asked me, "How did you guys do the vomit? I couldn’t see any tubes!"
Your worst case scenario won’t be that bad. Go with the flow, keep on message, and your audience will think you planned the whole thing.
- Breathe and feel your feet in contact with the ground. Breathing helps us be present and in the moment. When nerves take over, people often forget to inhale and exhale. Exhaling is crucial during presentations. When you hold your breath, you tend to speak faster, at a higher pitch, and get more and more anxious. Find an opportunity when you practice to score your presentation for breaths, meaning find parts where can you take pauses and breathe to ground yourself.
To combat nerves hijacking your conversations and presentations, remember this: the audience and you have common ground. You want to inform them; they want to learn from you and hear what you have to say. Your tips want to be received. Believe in yourself and know you have the ability to deliver the information in the best way possible.
And don’t be afraid of your nerves. They can provide useful energy if you can use them, rather than letting them use you.
-orginally published by The Ariel Group, 2/10/2016
Stop Complaining about Millennials; Coach Them Instead
By Mark Dannenberg
Make sure you are consistently finding ways to engage younger employees in meetings by asking for their input rather than just downloading information to them. Take your time going through the agenda, ask for clarity, and see if there are additional areas where you can provide greater understanding.
Recently, I heard a tale of a young direct report coming in for a one-on-one meeting with her manager and telling her that her six-month plan was, essentially, to replace her.
Instead of rolling her eyes back at her employee, the stunned manager took it in stride. She paused, then replied, “What is it about my job that interests you? The title? The money? The position of leadership?”
From there, the two were able to have an honest conversation. The manager explained where this young professional(who was doing a good job in her role but showing no initiative to do anything beyond what she was told) needed to improve to attain her goals, which had been misidentified as “I want to be the boss!”
Of all the difficulties I’ve heard people have with Millennials and early career professionals, most boil down to the essence of that interaction: understanding what’s most important to them and figuring out how that aligns with your own – as well as your company’s – values.
The question, however, remains: Do the early career professionals at your company and under your watch have the foundational presence skills to be a part of the leadership pipeline? And as a mentor and leader, what can you do to help them recognize the common obstructions that could be blocking their path to success? Much like this young professional’s manager, there are steps you can take to coach them on how to find success:
Multitasking
When it works, it’s great. But it takes practice and experience. When it doesn’t: …”of course I can answer the phone while responding to my boss’ email and watching this awesome viral video about otters on Facebook. Look at me go!”
How to coach:
You don’t want to scold younger employees on something we’ve all been guilty of doing. Instead, share your wisdom in a “this works for me” way as opposed to “You’re doing this wrong.”
In your next one-on-one meeting, show your own vulnerability by sharing your own story of a time when you thought you were succeeding, but ultimately multi-tasking actually impeded your success. This allows your employee to know it’s not just ‘their’ problem, but something everyone struggles with and works through.
For example, ‘I thought I’d done such a great job last year, I was home helping my son with his 7th grade math homework while I also answered some work emails. But my son had to bring his homework back for me to sign the next day – his answers were almost all wrong! I felt awful. He needed my 100% presence to help him with his homework. And, to be honest, it made me wonder about the level of my responses to those emails too!’
Not present in meetings
Nothing is more frustrating to leadership than seeing a younger employee pull out their cell phones during a meeting- the same employee who takes your time after a meeting asking for a summary. Lesson? It can wait. Put it away.
How to coach:
Have you ever given someone else advice only to realize you need to take the advice to heart too? Hello Pot, this is kettle, I have a message for you.
Again, owning up to it ourselves makes it an “everyone” issue, not an “us vs. you” issue. Ask other department heads to be mindful of their cell phone use in meetings (or stop using them) and see if younger employees will mimic the behavior. Keep yourself in check too: Are you modeling the same type of behavior you’re arguing against by having your computer open during one-on-ones?
Secondly, make sure you are consistently finding ways to engage younger employees in meetings by asking for their input rather than just downloading information to them. Take your time going through the agenda, ask for clarity, and see if there are additional areas where you can provide greater understanding.
Lacking self-awareness
The CEO asks younger employees how their weekend was and you hear that they reply by explaining they drank all night and went to bed at 4 a.m. Honesty is the best policy, right?
How to coach:
This conversation can be challenging, but your best bet is leading by example. You can point out that hearing that you ‘went to a bar with some friends from college’ is perfectly fine, but leave the details at the bar.
Remind early career professionals that every moment they are at work is a possible moment of being observed – the spotlight is never off them! It’s like going for a picnic in the park as opposed to sitting in your own backyard. You’d watch your language a bit more if you noticed a family with young children sit next to you.
Too much (or too little) confidence
“Your idea isn’t as good as mine. Do it my way” or “Oh you wouldn’t want to hear my idea… it’s terrible.”
How to coach:
When working with the former, remind them that a collaborative attitude is integral to fostering innovation. You may think you have the best idea, but you need to be open to the possibility of an even better one. Listen and then say “yes, and” to build on the idea; rather than “no, because” or “Yes, but,” and then dismissing it.
For the latter, remind them that often time the best idea is the last to be voiced. You need to encourage them by asking for their input and giving them praise when they give it (even if it’s not going to be utilized). Say something along the lines of, ‘thanks for your thoughts on this, even though we went another direction, I really appreciated it and value your future input.’
Being too quick to respond
Did you actually read the email I sent? It seems like the response only reflected reading the first bullet point.
How to coach:
Your employees want to do a good job. Somewhere, someone gave them the advice that “speedy responses” show that they’re right on top of the situation. A fast worker means a good worker, right?
The reality is that true analyzing and problem-solving can’t be done in a matter of seconds. In 1:1 meetings, coach employees to SLOW DOWN before replying to in-person or email requests. Remind them to listen, ask questions and be thoughtful about what is being asked. Help them understand that having to repeat yourself cancels out any brownie points earned for a speedy response.
-orginally published by The Ariel Group, 6/27/2016
In today’s business world, most guys are often more versed in proper text messaging and emailing than they are in effective speaking skills. Clients often come to me for help with dissertations, interviews, presentations… even best man toasts. Here are five helpful hints that come up most often in my work with them.
#1 Look to your Listeners
Most people’s primary concern is on themselves. But what is it that makes your presentation more powerful than just emailing the information to your audience? The content is merely the foundation. Studies have shown that one’s vocal (and physical presentation) are far more important than the content. Here’s a helpful image to be sure you are making yourself heard: Imagine your words are like arrows shooting out of your mouth. Where do those arrows land? Most often they seem to land on the floor or table between you and your audience. Make sure those arrows hit the back wall of the room. Just because you spoke the content you prepared, doesn’t mean it got heard.
#2 Keep Everyone Engaged
How many people are you speaking to? One person? Two people? A hundred? A thousand? Each of these requires a different type of energy and focus. And when asked a question, assume the inquisitor is not the only person who has that question… just the one who asked it first. Acknowlege the person who asked the question, make sure everyone understands what the question was, and then address the answer to everyone.
#3 BREATHE!
This one is so important I hesitate to put it all the way down at number three. But people aren’t aware that they aren’t breathing so they don’t recognize the gravity of this advice. It’s not that people aren’t breathing at all… clearly you must breathe to live! But think of your lungs like a tank of gas. More than 95% of the people I work with never fill up that tank all the way. For swimmers out there… it’d be as if you decided to breathe half as often as you normally do and at half of the capacity. Not smart. The result in your speaking? Lower volume, less modulation, faster speaking and tailing off at the end of sentences. Any of those sound familiar? Thought so. Try lying down and put your hands over your belly. Take deep breaths and feel it move your hands. Now try doing that while standing. Not as easy! But that’s the first step towards using your full breathing capacity.
#4 Be Bold
Often times clients tell me they think they speak pretty effectively… but their boss is just nitpicking. My response: Your boss sees your potential. You are living in what you know. It’s comfortable. Break beyond that. If someone tells me they are speaking loudly because they are speaking as loud as they’ve ever spoken... I say: why would you limit yourself by what you’ve done? Be bold. Be brazen. Be … other words that start with ‘B.’ What you’ve done has gotten you this far. Well done. But it’s also prevented you from getting farther. Expand your range of expressivity. Look first to people whose speaking you admire. What SPECIFICALLY makes them effective speakers? Mimicry is flattery.
#5 Pursue positive results.
This is actually a paraphrasing of sage actor’s advice. If you are getting up in front of people simply trying not to mess up, trying not to be too quiet, or too monotone, or too fast, etc. Your focus has turned back on YOU. Remember #1. Put your focus on your audience. Pursue THEM! Your goal is to persuade them. Commit yourself to making a difference in their day. Even if that difference was as simple as: During Joe’s 10 minute talk today – I didn’t have to bite the inside of my cheek to keep from yawning. Positive energy makes a huge difference!
originally published by maxtonmen.com, 12/11/2011